8 MARCH 2008

Hello and welcome to Ned's News. I'm Ned Brown.

My mummy nearly killed me last night. She's telling everyone I was out of control. A little harsh, isn't it?

She picked me up from childcare and she again complained that I wanted to play with the rocks in the driveway instead of getting in the car. I then sang at top note all the way home, which she said she didn't mind, but she got angry again when I ran around the driveway and into other building entrances screaming. She wasn't happy that she had to put down her bags and the big bunch of flowers she got for finishing work in order to catch me. Then she got angry that I wanted to play chase ON the stairs. I protested by lying down on one of the stairs and kicking my legs. I laughed and laughed. She didn't.

She bribed me into going inside our unit by promising me spaghetti. But then she gave me lasagne instead so I don't know why she was surprised when I wouldn't eat it. Instead, she opened some TINNED spaghetti, not real stuff, so again, I don't know how she justifies getting angry when I threw the plateful of slop onto the carpet. But, boy, did she get angry! I was really scared until I remembered that old tactic of pretending to cry so she thought I was sorry.

She made me get out of my highchair and told me to go and entertain myself while she ate dinner. So then why did she get so cranky when I pulled all the toilet paper off the roll and shredded it up and down the hallway? No one told me I couldn't!

She's no fun. That's why I got up at 5.30 this morning to play with Daddy.

That is all the news for today.