16 JULY 2008

Hello and welcome to Ned's News. I'm Ned Brown.

I have been a complete angel since returning from Queensland. No one would recognise me. Everyone down here thinks Mummy is a big fat liar for saying I was a terrorist. I give Sam gentle kisses and sing him songs. I've only been in time-out about three times in the past two weeks, instead of three times every hour. Mummy is bruised all over - not from me hitting her, but from her pinching herself to see if she's dreaming.

I have been trying to learn magic. Daddy did a great trick. He came up to me and held up his fists and asked me to pick a hand. I picked one and he opened his hand and there was a lolly. I thought about it for a few days trying to work it out then I tried it. I sat down on my Bob the Builder couch after a sleep, held up my fists and said "which hand.. oh oh this one" but when I opened my hand, there was no lolly. I was very sad. And I was even sadder that Mummy burst out laughing at me and rang Daddy and told him what I did.

I have decided that some nursery rhymes need re-writing. This is my new version of an old favourite. I sing:
See-saw, Margory-Daw
Johnny has got a new master
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Because he can't work any faster.

That is all the news for today.

Hello and welcome to Sam's Sport. I'm Sam Brown.

I am waiting for Ned's behaviour to all unravel.. and I just know I'll be in the firing line.

That is all the news for today.